Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
You slam cabinets, doors, and probably your own phone. Everyone suddenly becomes your enemy in Mario Kart and in real life.
Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20)
You go silent, but your silence is loud. Your side-eye could cause a power outage.
Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20)
You suddenly stop texting back and start posting cryptic TikToks. Everyone knows when you're mad because your group chat gets a 3-day cold front.
Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
You say “I’m fine,” but your energy screams “I’m about to drop a 3-hour documentary on how you hurt me.” Your mood swings are synced with the moon.
Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
You’ll “joke” about what you’re mad about… 17 times. You won’t say you’re upset, but everyone can feel your Beyoncé-level diva tension.
Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22)
You say “no worries” while rage-cleaning your entire apartment. You won’t confront anyone, but you will go over the whole situation in your head 3 times.
Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22)
You pretend everything’s chill but serve Oscar-worthy passive-aggressive looks. Your fake laugh becomes terrifyingly flawless.
Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
You go mysteriously quiet and start blinking slower. People can feel you plotting and they’re right—you are.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
You say you’re “not mad” but immediately book a solo trip and post a thirst trap with the caption “doing just fine 😘.”
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
You become even more productive out of spite. Suddenly your calendar’s full and your vibe is “if you wanted to, you would.”
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
You write a passive-aggressive paragraph in your head, then hit them with a “lol ok.” Your vibe is unbothered, but your playlist is 98% sad girl bops.
Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
You cry, but like… aesthetically. Then you send a sad meme and disappear into your room for three days.